I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
