they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
whose parrot is this?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
