You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
this is an emotional support booty call
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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