it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
