you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
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Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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