Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
