I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
sarcasm needs its own font
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
