the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.