Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.