I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...