He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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