So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize