This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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