how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He has the fingertips of a God
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