i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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