when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fuck appropriateness.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize