i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
