if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize