No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
