dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
