So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I FOUND THE LEGS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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