At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
