If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We talked him into tasing himself.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize