dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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