I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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