omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You had me at "let me see your balls"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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