he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
