Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This is the high leading the old right now
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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