well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
