On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize