Betty ford says i'm here all night
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
