Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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