Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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