just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
