And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
