the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
