1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
