My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
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this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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