Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
