I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
smell my finger.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
