on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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