Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
