I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
