I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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