Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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