porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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