I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
