It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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