Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
