I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize