k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
