This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
