The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize