About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We're too hungover to prance.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
