do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
