She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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