I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
