I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize