whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
